AshleyFlys.com - tales of travel, torrid affairs, and a hatred for DELTA » Ashley Avis

Sonas Denim Campaign

Ashley — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:44:40 +0000

… a whirlwind few months between Cynical Life post production and L2 Living pre-production (a cast which includes Social Network’s Mariah Bonner, Torchwood’s Shawn Parsons, and a flurry of other talented folks).

In between the inane shooting schedules (Kevin Huie, I owe you a large fruitbasket)… I’ve become the face of a kickass new denim company called Sonas (seen at the Emmys, and soon to be featured at the Grammys and Sundance 2012). Eco-friendly, awesome bring-back-the-60s flare patchwork jeans.

Check out some of the first shoot images, by Paolo Mascatelli.

www.sonasdenim.com | www.paolomascatelli.com

The Cynical Life for William Rast

Ashley — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 18:44:54 +0000

Whew! I don’t think I’ve slept for another 38 hours or something, again, but hey. What else is being twenty-something and having access to copious amounts of coffee for?

So a publication I occasionally do editorials for, Bunker Hill Magazine (Google Shepard Fairey + Manny Pacquiao articles, some cool folks) is doing a story on us this month (August) and then a cover with William Rast jeans in September. I met with Steve Ford, who runs Bunker, a few days ago – and pitched the idea of doing a dual shoot. William Rast rocks, the Rast pairs I own I literally live in, and they have an edgy brand that matches the tone of Cynical. Plus, the ladies in our cast? Stunners.

So… twelve hours after talking with Ford, we got the cast together at a bit under 5 a.m. and ran around Venice with photograper Paolo Mascatelli. Here are a few teaser images of my individual portraits with Paolo and then one very cool shot of some of the cast – go to the link below to see the full spread!

http://thecynicallife.com/2011/07/28/the-cynical-life-for-william-rast-gallery-test-by-paolo-mascatelli-bunker-hill-magazine/

The Cynical Life of Harper Hall – A Pilot by Ashley Avis

Ashley — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 21:39:58 +0000

Hey there guys,

Apologies for the lack of cynical blogs and horrifying DELTA experiences… but we’ve been shooting a pilot over the past few weeks, and I’m finally getting around to drinking another case of sugar-version Red Bull and posting some news on here.

www.thecynicallife.com – cast list, updates, photos from the set (courtesy of Kelly Lee), videos (including our car getting towed… with ALL the lighing equipment in it), extended Behind the Scenes, and more.

Starring Ashley Avis, Camille Cregan, Chelsea Rae Bernier, Janna VanHeertum, Alex Ashbaugh, Justin Taite, Bennett Gillespie, and a slew of other brilliant folks. Produced by Ash, co-produced by Alexander Emmert (Paddock Pictures) and Paul Harrison Daggett.

The Cynical Life of Harper Hall is the story of a lovably cynical, failed twenty something children’s book author, Harper (Ashley Avis), who works out of her local coffee shop attempting to pen something more Disney commercially viable than ‘When Barney’s Parents Died in the Lava’.

After a relationship implosion involving her folk-rocker ex (and the illegitimate daughter of David Hasselhoff), Harper moves in with her little sister Sparrow (Camille Cregan)… an aspiring actress who sells her eggs to an Invitro fertilization clinic in Beverly Hills for rent money. Harper is suddenly dragged, unwittingly, into a whole new horror filled world. Being late twenties, NOT an actress, and suddenly single in Los Angeles

Check out the “Behind the Scenes” trailer. This was put together at around 4:45am post day two of shooting, so do excuse the double ‘the’.

A Press Tidbit: Ash @ Star Magazine Party, with Jennifer Tapiero for Starcam

Ashley — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 22:38:30 +0000

Beverly Hills, CA: Short and sweet interview with Jennifer Tapiero. Dress by Calvin Klein … and, YES! I didn’t TRIP in it! ;> Victorrry…

“StarCam’s Jennifer Tapiero hit the Star Magazine Party and talked with Ashley Avis about supporting Star Magazine’s third anniversary event. Lacey Schwimmer talks about her dancing tips and whether she likes working out, Tatyana Ali dishes on her guilty pleasure reading, Carla Ortiz talks about reading “Star,” Jason Wahler talks about what it’s like seeing himself in the magazine, and Jackie Warner talks about a 6-minute workout. Interviews with Tess Taylor, Shanna Moakler, Lisa and Brittny Gastineau, Shannon Bex, Hanson, Jesse Bradford, Hope Dworaczyk,Gavin DeGraw, and Alexis and Jim Bellino. Check out these exclusives with Tionne Williams, Mary Schmidt Amons, Amber Mead, Chanel from Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory, and Dmitry Chaplin.”
http://blog.starcam.com

Press on BFF… Comedy Shorts Film Fest 2010, Los Angeles

Ashley — Wed, 05 May 2010 07:23:37 +0000

Ah, the unfathomably intelligent things you’ll say when being interviewed directly after David Koechner, like “Fruit Rollup Sushi”.

Well, that’s what they were serving. And yes, it WAS my favorite part of the fest. Besides seeing our delightful little comedy on the big screen… also directly after a $400,000 BBC post-Apocalyptic production with six thousand freakin’ extras. ”BFF”, starring Raymond McAnally, Matt Unger, and myself. Directed by Ryan Gould, produced by Daily Fiber Films. Interviewed by the lovely Dana Honeywell for RealTV.

Random Fan-mail is the Best – Unless Someone is Trying to Voodoo You.

Ashley — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 20:27:15 +0000

Random fan letters are the best. I recently received (via my manager, as I try to keep my personal-personal email hidden from the world, stalkers, and Bill Clinton at all costs) a letter from a Mr. Thomas:

Hi Ms. Bluestone,

I am very sorry to take up your time. I am a big fan of Ms. Avis and think she is such a beautiful actress! Could you please let me know how I could obtain an autograph picture of Ms. Avis. Does she have a fan mail address that I could mail a self-addressed stamped envelope to? I truly appreciate any help that you could provide. Thank you so much for your time!

Aloha,
John Thomas

Now, my first instinct is to be insanely flattered and send this John Thomas a fruit basket. However, the inner cynic in me has a few questions first:

How and why are you a fan?
What have I done that deserves any accolades, really?
If it is accolade-relevant, what are you a fan of?
– My writing and firing from Nielsen?
– The borderline interesting indie film work?
– The Miss Teen Universe pageant at sixteen by which I walked the runway [in a rhinestoned bikini] with an accidentally self-induced concussion?
Why is your name the most stereotypical thing on the planet besides Bob Smith, and CLEARLY not Hawaiian?

Perhaps John really is a random cult-like groupie (and, trust me, I’d love to have a gaggle of random cult-like groupies who want my signed headshot), but I just can’t seem to shake that this email is written stylistically similar to those “You’ve inherited 430 million dollars from an estranged uncle, so please send a mere $1,000 via Western Union to Africa to claim it…” emails from third world country scam artists.

Then again, what is my signed headshot worth… really? Perhaps this really is a fan. Named John Thomas. Who was adopted by an American family who’s simply crazy about free healthcare. Or perhaps it’s one of my maniacal webdesign clients, who’s just Amazon.com’ed a book on voodoo.

Regardless, signing one of my freakin’ headshots, here we come.

– Ashley

My Childhood Pastime : Prank Calling People and Telling Them They Won Cheese

Ashley — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 22:58:37 +0000

You know what’s great? Being a kid and getting away with everything short of murder. Like “exploring” (i.e. sneaking into the Creepy Neighbor’s house to observe him), “scavenging” (i.e. getting up at 3 a.m. with your little brother to search for loose change around the house), and crank calling.

I loved crank calling when I was a kid. I was a crank calling fiend. If you were in the Yellow Pages, you were instantly at risk that my voice would greet you on the other line sometime around 3:45 and 5:15, post school and prior to Doctor Mom coming home from “squeezing puss” all day, as she would put it.

My crank calling was never random, either. I would specifically look for people with strange last names, as it was naturally assumed that these individuals were inherently weird anyway and deserved to be pranked.

“Erwin Bogstrupple”, for example. I’d definitely call that guy.

My biggest “pitch” during my crank calling career was coupled with the fact that I was (at age 10 or 11), learning how to do basic webdesign.

At this point I knew how to create simple webpage, reserve a domain, and upload the contents — however ridiculous — to the internet for the world to see. The possibilities of this skill were absolutely endless for my imagination. Just conceive of the innocent little deceptions I could create!

YouWonTHECHEESE.com!!! was only an inevitable matter of time.

December 12th, 1995. Get home / eat a pop tart / deceive Immigrant Baby Sitter / obtain cordless phone

Riiiiing. Riiiiing.

Long Incessantly Annoying Beep: “Hi! You’ve reached Weird @*($-ing Name Ashley Can’t Stand! I’m not dancing around the house right now, so puhhh-lease leave a message after the beep, BEEP! Just kidding, haha! And I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Or maybe not! Who knows! BEEP! Haha…”

I hated these people. These PEOPLE who leave MESSAGES on their machines that just go on and on and ramble for a seemingly interminable amount of time for absolutely no conceivable reason. WE GET IT. An ineludable beep at the end of your ridiculous vomiting of poorly strung syllables WILL AT SOME POINT OCCUR. Enough of dragging the process out more, already!

They deserved it, I would always mentally justify. They forced innocent people to listen to minutes upon minutes of idiotic banter. They way I saw it, they stole little pieces of people’s lives.

Riiiiing. RIIIIIING.

Long Incessantly Annoying Beep: “Hi! You’ve reached…”

Me [in a booming announcer's voice]: “CONGRATULATIONS, LUCY! Yoouuuuu’ve won THE CHEESE! Sixteen pounds of limburger, swiss, or the fine innards of GOAT?! WHO KNOWS! Go to www.youwonthecheese.com to claim your prize!”

I’d then hang up, insanely thrilled with myself, and go run around the block for a few hours to wear off the sugar high I’d inevitably gotten myself on.

I never knew what happened to the people who got these messages. I did, however, leave about 500 of them… and I had actually built a website that listed each name with a type of “Cheese Won” next to it. Forty-five pounds of limburger was my favorite go-to prize.

The delivery within 4-6 weeks was a sham, though. I hope nobody was ever too disappointed.

Ah… the sweet — endless hours of childhood. This was almost as fun as that time I captured a four foot pelican off the end of my dock and kept it in the house for three days. Parents still don’t know about THAT one.

Time for a gigantic hunk of Brie.

– Ashley

Surprise Googling Yourself = Unknown YouTube Videos

Ashley — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 22:41:12 +0000

Oh sweet jesus. You know how sometimes when you drink several Guinness after a forcibly watched women’s UCONN Basketball game — you might unintentionally slip into a state of vegetable and randomly Google yourself?

I’m hardly ever surprised anymore (between the nation of Ghana publicly hating me after Miss Teen Universe ’03 and a having a porn star with a very similar Google name) … but today I found something I actually wasn’t aware of.

Enter my sixteen year old self getting brought in to audition for a TV show — booking it — having the old host suddenly get fired — and suddenly being thrown into an IndyCar Series race 24 hours later to interview (and er, eat cheesecake with and… er, eventually date) Indy500 winner Dan Wheldon, Danica Patrick, and Tony Kanaan. Makes me miss the lack of pores and fabulous hair extensions of the younger years.

Enjoy.

tony kanaan and ashley avis

Check out some old press, too.

The Day I [Almost] Saw a Unicorn on American Airlines

Ashley — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 02:47:55 +0000

Well if this one goes down, I’m screwed.

American Airlines flight 203 from Miami International to LAX. Finally going home. Finally.

However, printing out my boarding pass after a foiled attempt to upgrade (calling the airline when you’re in the back of a line of 30 trying to do the same thing you are is theoretically very crafty, until some wheezy chick named Arlene tells you that you aren’t a preferred “AAAdvantage Member” and unworthy of first class upgrading), I was placed in seat 32A.

Back of the plane. Window seat. Ugh.

I suppose it could be worse. I could be fated to a middle seat at the VERY back in row 39, in between a cueball bald gangmember type and this gorgeous African American woman I’m 95% sure is a vampire. I stood behind her on the breezeway. She has acrylic toenails. I’m not sure what else could possibly be a sign.

However, as I made my way down the aisle — past the coveted First Class rows and the oversized, square-shaped grey glory of the actual person sized seats — I suddenly noticed something amazing. Spectacular! Mind-blowing, even.

Wait for it……

The coach seats. Had. PILLOWS.

Pillows! With mini-blankets! Awaiting our bottoms to mistakenly sit on them while trying to lodge our Second Personal Items beneath the prison seats and balance a Chai Latte at the same time!

I stared at my pillow-mini-blanket set and all of it’s shrink wrapped wonder. ”Hello,” I murmured softly, carefully plucking it from 32A’s scratchy cloth seat and depositing it onto my lap. ”You do exist…”

There’s an airline out there that still gives you pillows. I could see a unicorn now and be significantly less astonished.

Now if they would only serve me a damn drink…

Severely deprived of an Adult Beverage, Ashley Avis