AshleyFlys.com - tales of travel, torrid affairs, and a hatred for DELTA » Acting… Stuff.

The Cynical Life – Teaser

Ashley — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:51:57 +0000

The Cynical Life is in post production, and we’ll be finalizing a premiere date within the next few weeks! For the moment, our editor has put together a quick teaser to satiate until an official trailer can be released.

Check it out – starring Ashley Avis, Camille Cregan, Gerry Bednob, David Ballam, Chelsea Rae Bernier, Janna VanHeertum, Justin Taite, Alex Ashbaugh, Kayley Gable, and Jensen Daggett. Full cast here: www.imdb.com/title/tt1990064/

The Cynical Life for William Rast

Ashley — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 18:44:54 +0000

Whew! I don’t think I’ve slept for another 38 hours or something, again, but hey. What else is being twenty-something and having access to copious amounts of coffee for?

So a publication I occasionally do editorials for, Bunker Hill Magazine (Google Shepard Fairey + Manny Pacquiao articles, some cool folks) is doing a story on us this month (August) and then a cover with William Rast jeans in September. I met with Steve Ford, who runs Bunker, a few days ago – and pitched the idea of doing a dual shoot. William Rast rocks, the Rast pairs I own I literally live in, and they have an edgy brand that matches the tone of Cynical. Plus, the ladies in our cast? Stunners.

So… twelve hours after talking with Ford, we got the cast together at a bit under 5 a.m. and ran around Venice with photograper Paolo Mascatelli. Here are a few teaser images of my individual portraits with Paolo and then one very cool shot of some of the cast – go to the link below to see the full spread!

http://thecynicallife.com/2011/07/28/the-cynical-life-for-william-rast-gallery-test-by-paolo-mascatelli-bunker-hill-magazine/

The Cynical Life of Harper Hall – A Pilot by Ashley Avis

Ashley — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 21:39:58 +0000

Hey there guys,

Apologies for the lack of cynical blogs and horrifying DELTA experiences… but we’ve been shooting a pilot over the past few weeks, and I’m finally getting around to drinking another case of sugar-version Red Bull and posting some news on here.

www.thecynicallife.com – cast list, updates, photos from the set (courtesy of Kelly Lee), videos (including our car getting towed… with ALL the lighing equipment in it), extended Behind the Scenes, and more.

Starring Ashley Avis, Camille Cregan, Chelsea Rae Bernier, Janna VanHeertum, Alex Ashbaugh, Justin Taite, Bennett Gillespie, and a slew of other brilliant folks. Produced by Ash, co-produced by Alexander Emmert (Paddock Pictures) and Paul Harrison Daggett.

The Cynical Life of Harper Hall is the story of a lovably cynical, failed twenty something children’s book author, Harper (Ashley Avis), who works out of her local coffee shop attempting to pen something more Disney commercially viable than ‘When Barney’s Parents Died in the Lava’.

After a relationship implosion involving her folk-rocker ex (and the illegitimate daughter of David Hasselhoff), Harper moves in with her little sister Sparrow (Camille Cregan)… an aspiring actress who sells her eggs to an Invitro fertilization clinic in Beverly Hills for rent money. Harper is suddenly dragged, unwittingly, into a whole new horror filled world. Being late twenties, NOT an actress, and suddenly single in Los Angeles

Check out the “Behind the Scenes” trailer. This was put together at around 4:45am post day two of shooting, so do excuse the double ‘the’.

A Press Tidbit: Ash @ Star Magazine Party, with Jennifer Tapiero for Starcam

Ashley — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 22:38:30 +0000

Beverly Hills, CA: Short and sweet interview with Jennifer Tapiero. Dress by Calvin Klein … and, YES! I didn’t TRIP in it! ;> Victorrry…

“StarCam’s Jennifer Tapiero hit the Star Magazine Party and talked with Ashley Avis about supporting Star Magazine’s third anniversary event. Lacey Schwimmer talks about her dancing tips and whether she likes working out, Tatyana Ali dishes on her guilty pleasure reading, Carla Ortiz talks about reading “Star,” Jason Wahler talks about what it’s like seeing himself in the magazine, and Jackie Warner talks about a 6-minute workout. Interviews with Tess Taylor, Shanna Moakler, Lisa and Brittny Gastineau, Shannon Bex, Hanson, Jesse Bradford, Hope Dworaczyk,Gavin DeGraw, and Alexis and Jim Bellino. Check out these exclusives with Tionne Williams, Mary Schmidt Amons, Amber Mead, Chanel from Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory, and Dmitry Chaplin.”
http://blog.starcam.com

Press on BFF… Comedy Shorts Film Fest 2010, Los Angeles

Ashley — Wed, 05 May 2010 07:23:37 +0000

Ah, the unfathomably intelligent things you’ll say when being interviewed directly after David Koechner, like “Fruit Rollup Sushi”.

Well, that’s what they were serving. And yes, it WAS my favorite part of the fest. Besides seeing our delightful little comedy on the big screen… also directly after a $400,000 BBC post-Apocalyptic production with six thousand freakin’ extras. ”BFF”, starring Raymond McAnally, Matt Unger, and myself. Directed by Ryan Gould, produced by Daily Fiber Films. Interviewed by the lovely Dana Honeywell for RealTV.

Watching Stupid Actors Is Better Than Going to the Zoo

Ashley — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 16:48:47 +0000

Oh. My. Goodness.

I’m presently experiencing the next best thing to driving around South Africa, oogling up-close rhinos on an experimental “do it yourself” safari tour.

I’m in a Starbucks. In central Hollywood. Four feet away from me… there are actors rehearsing.

Now, I’m not talking Broadway “star” types, that would be far less exciting – and you wouldn’t find second-string Simba or The Phantom running lines in a commercial chain California coffee house anyway. These are Brand NEW Actor-Types (BNATs), obviously going to the Super Method Acting School around the corner from here (I know, because I went there for a spell before getting kicked out for non-conformity), where you pay $600 a month to essentially join a cult and cry once a week in front of your balding, over-the-hill classmates.

These BNAT’s are only table away from me — dressed in every piece of black they could find in their wardrobes, have matching little “artist hats”, and are theatrically flailing around brand new (uncreased, unread) Drama Book copies of whatever basic play they’ll be attempting scenes from. I’m trying not to stare.

…

Aw, to hell with it, let’s name them!

We’ll call the guy… Trundle… and the chick… Gertrude. YES. TRUNDLE and GERTRUDE. Now, I’m going to directly transcribe a few of the idiot dribblings that are being flung from the mouths of these creatures. No editing. Here we go:

______

Gertrude: So we’re in the car in this scene. We’re driving. Should we, like, move around like a car?

Trundle: Maybe. If we want to establish truth. This is Method.

Gertrude: Right. Method.

______

Are you listening to this? These two are seriously discussing — and I mean, “like, for-seriously!” — discussing whether to mimic the movement of a VEHICLE during an acting class.

No offense to the mentally challenged — because I’ve volunteered for the mentally challenged — but ARE THESE TWO PEOPLE RETARDED?!

_____

Gertrude: So… like, there’s a kiss in between these words, here. Do we have to do the kiss in front of, you know — like, the class? Like in front of the teacher?

Trundle: Well… not many girls are going to go that far. Not many girls have that much invested in this character — I think we should show them, like in the room, that you’re really invested in Blanche’s character.

Gertrude: Really? You think?

Trundle: Yes. I do. I mean, this was one of the greatest novels of all time, so we need to do it justice. For the the guy, you know, the poet who spent half his life writing it and other things… for our careers, you know, for your character…

Gertrude: Blanche? I’m playing Blanche, right?

_____

Oh… my… goodness. I’m about to throw up into my triple shot Macchiato… did Trundle just refer to A Streetcar Named Desire as a NOVEL, and Tennessee Williams as a poet?!

_____

Trundle: The way I’m sitting right now… you know, the way I look right now… do you think this is a good look for the scene? You know, the black and stuff?

Gertrude: Yeah!

Trundle: You know, because I grew up in like, Connecticut, but the bad part of the Connecticut… like, I have a lot to give. I’ve seen alot. That’s why I became an actor. I want to show the world my pain. Like Pucino.

Gertrude: Wow… you have so much to show an audience, like, experience…

Trundle: Yeah, I don’t even really need to be in this class. I met an agent from ICM on Facebook the other day. He really thinks I should be out there just working, you know?

____

THIS is where I accidentally let out a snort that’s so explosively loud, the two of them turn around and stare at me. They’re both so collectively offended I can’t hold it in anymore. I begin laughing. Uncontrollably.

Trundle’s eyes are like fire.
____

Trundle: Let’s go rehearse at my place, Chrissy, this obviously isn’t a good WORK ENVIRONMENT anymore.

____

At this point I’ve put my Starbucks cup over my mouth, and I am laughing INTO it. Good work environment, Trundle? IT’S A @#$%-ing STARBUCKS!

Trundle and “Chrissy” (I’m still of the opinion that Gertrude is more fitting), huff and glare as they loudly gather their things, slamming and crushing scripts into Actors Connection branded messenger bags, and scraping the chairs against the floor as they roughly push them in.

And finally… glowy, exfoliated chins vaulted higher than the Nora Jones blasting ceiling stereo system, the two young Almost Method actors march out of the Starbucks, simmering and visibly attempting to kill me with their bad energy.

I smile into my mocha.

Sorry, guys. Even with three Basic Meisner classes under your belts — you still can’t even pronounce Stanislavski properly, much less successfully mind slaughter me for laughing at your idiocy. Good effort, though.

I love actors.

Happy Sunday.

– Ashley Avis

Crazy Actors – Go Meisner-Kill Yourself

Ashley — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 17:59:30 +0000

Wow. So a friend of mine runs a PR company that I helped establish (do the webdesign, help out with marketing, etc) that is targeted towards actors. The amount of money they charge is a pittance compared to any of the other PR companies in town (100 bucks, 200 bucks, compared to the thousands upon f-ing thousands demanded — and rightfully so — by 42West, Workhouse, etc).

Here are the keywords highlighting the initial business-model mistake of this friend: working with actors, working with actors for $100, marketing to the Crazy Actor Demographic.

If you provide something insanely beneficial but undercut yourself and your prices — naturally, the resulting clientele will be 95% out of their damn minds.

They’ll be overdemanding, call you at all hours of the evening wondering why the shitty reel they put together isn’t getting press (clue: you’re a terrible actor and you produced it yourself), and then when they DON’T get attention on a red carpet (clue: you’re not attractive, you have no real credits AND you’re crazy) they’ll send you a four page email about the things they’d like to do to you / your company / your physical well being, etc.

Actors, man. I’m an actor. But I’m finding out… as I help out friends who start companies like mine that target this insane (albeit interesting) demographic — we’re all @*!$-ing nuts. Not to knock us all — I have a select group of relatively sane Broadway and television friends that are actually working on projects that mean something… real actors… but the majority of this industry?

Go Meisner-kill yourself, already.

Sincerely,
Ashley

Guinness = New Agent

Ashley — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 02:20:46 +0000

Meeting with Maverick – Part 1

It’s January 4th, and my manager is likely twelve seconds away from killing me.

After moving to Los Angeles post five years of Serious-Actors-Train-Here Manhattan, my manager (the utterly and mystically fabulous Robyn Bluestone — whom we shall reverently refer to as Fabulous Manager) attempted to begin setting up agency meetings.

Agency meeting after agency meeting rolled into my inbox! How delightful! Glorious! Perfect for the actor who’s 101,369 on IMDB!

My first week of agency meetings occur in June 2009. I make the mistake of not only cutting — but dying — my entire head.

Enter the bombing of all agency meetings that week. I felt like I looked like a really tall groundhog with an equatable hairstyle. They were all small and boutiquey, thank God… but it’s not good to bomb, regardless.

The next two months I spend BACK in New York, filming Nelson George’s Left Unsaid with Bridget Barkan and Chyna Layne. No agency meetings.

September rolls around — and I get an offer to sit on a cruise ship around the world for two months. And do a little ballroom, sometimes. I take the gig. No agency meetings.

November and December roll around, bringing with them the holidays and an unexpected weight gain of 14.5 pounds. Damn good thing I’m 5’9… but I still notice the lack of six pack (okay, let’s not kid ourselves, I haven’t had a six pack since I was sixteen). and cringe. No agency meetings.

At 12:54 a.m. on JANUARY 3rd — I open up my iCalander just for the hell of it. There, in green, and listed under the obnoxious orange tab of the IMPORTANT STUFF category…

MEETING AT MAVERICK. 4pm. West Hollywood!

Maverick… Maverick Maverick Maverick… right! MAVERICK ARTISTS was the agency that Fabulous Manager had rescheduled for me four times. The first was an audition conflict. The second was a Nelson George project / NYC conflict. The third was a Fly-Back-To-LA-JUST-For-the-Meeting-And-Get-Delayed conflict. The fourth? I don’t even remember.

But there it was… in electric sunset orange… Meeting with Maverick. Attempt number five with the strong boutique that holds a Twilight star.

I immediately drank a glass of wine and went to sleep.

Meeting with Maverick, Part 2

We catch up with Ashley six hours after she remembers she has an agency meeting tomorrow.

The next morning, I threw on clothing (oh — by the way — I’m living in a HOTEL at this point, that’s another story) and attempted to wash my mane via the decrepit pipes that inhabit the Marina International Hotel’s bathroom structure. To no glossy-haired avail, I threw on a swipe of eyeliner and called it a day.

[ NOTE: When living out of a hotel: There is absolutely no point in trying to do the "pretty LA actress" thing. Let the under-eye circles and escape from the Lesbian Landlords fly. ]

After stepping out of the closet-bathroom (and battling the sliding door, which didn’t shut — or fit on the hinge), my helpful significant other shook his head gently. He always does this when I successfully choose a really, really bad outfit. Usually his horizontal head bobbing is paired with a fondly snarky comment about my recent association with a Star Wars character.

I don’t LAYER well. I can’t help it. ”Hip fashion” is not the utmost of my general concerns. The only thing I can accessorize properly is a freakin’ ballgown.

I change, smear on more eyeliner to appear brooding (I am brooding at this point) and trot out to my tiny silver Saab. Significant Other follows. I inquire if we should obtain a beer before my agency meeting, and if he’d wait for me. They never usually take long. Significant Other agrees.

We make the nausea-inspiring trek to Hollywood (after living there, and then relocating to Venice, I try to avoid the traffic and hair extension lifestyle as much as humanly possible). After thirty minutes in traffic, we finally pull up to North Vine street, and spot an Irish Pub across the way.

Forty-two minutes to The Agency Meeting. We both eyeball The Irish Pub, mutually salivating. The light turns green. With a silent nod between us, we park the car, throw the keys to the valet, and sprint into O’Malley’s or O’Faddey’s or whatever the place was called. It’s huge, and they have Wannabe Actresses in knee-highs and school girl kilts running around with 40s.

We’re not in Manhattan anymore.

We find a seat, order a round of Guineuss, and are assured that turkey burgers can be out to us in a record 12 minutes. We consume our feast, and order another round.

Twelve minutes to agency meeting.

The stress of the day — the escape from 29th Avenue Lesbianism (again, another story) — coupled with the natural I Have To Do Awesome paranoia — began melting away. Now, I have the tolerance of an Irish person anyway when it comes to Beverages, so it wasn’t like I was anything close to drunk. I wasn’t even tipsy. I was just… nicely… relaxed.

The gigantic turkey burger helped, too.

“Ash, you have three minutes to your meeting,” suddenly exclaimed Significant Other. I nodded, grabbed one last steak fry, and darted down the pub staircase. The building was directly across the street. I made it to the 17th floor exactly on time.

Forty-five minutes later, I was skipping out of the building.

I’d nailed the meeting.

It’s not for the sake of over-confidence or back-patting that I say I nailed the meeting… but compared to the recent meetings of ’09 that Fabulous Manager had so graciously set up… with this one, I felt different.

I didn’t spend an hour trying to pick out a “this is me in six different ways” outfit. I didn’t spend another hour doing stage makeup to cover up the fact that I’m perpetually a little bit tired. I didn’t curl my hair, I didn’t wear a gigantic LA push-up bra, I was just… me.

The Sci-Fi loving, Poe Shadow reading, slightly disenchanted but still infatuated with the industry and all it boasts — me.

And two days later? Fabulous Manager forwarded the email.

I was signed.

Delighted by the Winning Guineuss and Lack of Sleep Combination,

Ashley Avis