The Day I [Almost] Saw a Unicorn on American Airlines
2010 February 18
Well if this one goes down, I’m screwed.
American Airlines flight 203 from Miami International to LAX. Finally going home. Finally.
However, printing out my boarding pass after a foiled attempt to upgrade (calling the airline when you’re in the back of a line of 30 trying to do the same thing you are is theoretically very crafty, until some wheezy chick named Arlene tells you that you aren’t a preferred “AAAdvantage Member” and unworthy of first class upgrading), I was placed in seat 32A.
Back of the plane. Window seat. Ugh.
I suppose it could be worse. I could be fated to a middle seat at the VERY back in row 39, in between a cueball bald gangmember type and this gorgeous African American woman I’m 95% sure is a vampire. I stood behind her on the breezeway. She has acrylic toenails. I’m not sure what else could possibly be a sign.
However, as I made my way down the aisle — past the coveted First Class rows and the oversized, square-shaped grey glory of the actual person sized seats — I suddenly noticed something amazing. Spectacular! Mind-blowing, even.
Wait for it……
The coach seats. Had. PILLOWS.
Pillows! With mini-blankets! Awaiting our bottoms to mistakenly sit on them while trying to lodge our Second Personal Items beneath the prison seats and balance a Chai Latte at the same time!
I stared at my pillow-mini-blanket set and all of it’s shrink wrapped wonder. ”Hello,” I murmured softly, carefully plucking it from 32A’s scratchy cloth seat and depositing it onto my lap. ”You do exist…”
There’s an airline out there that still gives you pillows. I could see a unicorn now and be significantly less astonished.
Now if they would only serve me a damn drink…
Severely deprived of an Adult Beverage, Ashley Avis
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